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Time in a Bottle, SGA, Sheppard/McKay
I've been blowing off revisions to get this done, because it was just eating my brain. Many many thanks to a cast of thousands, specifically Basingstoke, Cesca, Giddy, Julad, Livia, MissPamela, Prufrock, Resonant, and Terri. {{{hugs}}}
ETA to add spoiler warning
Time in a Bottle (14,361 words)
by astolat
Sheppard/McKay, explicit.
Spoilers through Aurora (2x09)
Summary: To see a World in a Grain of Sand / And a Heaven in a Wild Flower / Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand / And Eternity in an hour.
Teaser:
John was conscious of himself for a long time before he could open his eyes, his breathing noisy in his own ears, arms and legs weighted down so heavy he couldn't move them. He wasn't conscious enough to be scared, just a little irritable—why won't my goddamn arms move—and part of him just wanted to keep lying there, drifting.
It was getting brighter outside, he could see color through his eyelids, and he started to feel uneasy for no good reason. At some point without noticing it, he crossed the line into being awake, and he sat up in bed: not his own bed but something acres large, white and luxurious and high off the ground, facing the ocean through an open wall of French doors. Thin white drapes were hovering in the breeze; he smelled salt air, but none of the tang of metal or seaweed or fish, too clean, and the water was the wrong color, a tropical blue-green clear out to the horizon: this wasn't Atlantis.
( Read the story )
ETA to add spoiler warning
Time in a Bottle (14,361 words)
by astolat
Sheppard/McKay, explicit.
Spoilers through Aurora (2x09)
Summary: To see a World in a Grain of Sand / And a Heaven in a Wild Flower / Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand / And Eternity in an hour.
Teaser:
John was conscious of himself for a long time before he could open his eyes, his breathing noisy in his own ears, arms and legs weighted down so heavy he couldn't move them. He wasn't conscious enough to be scared, just a little irritable—why won't my goddamn arms move—and part of him just wanted to keep lying there, drifting.
It was getting brighter outside, he could see color through his eyelids, and he started to feel uneasy for no good reason. At some point without noticing it, he crossed the line into being awake, and he sat up in bed: not his own bed but something acres large, white and luxurious and high off the ground, facing the ocean through an open wall of French doors. Thin white drapes were hovering in the breeze; he smelled salt air, but none of the tang of metal or seaweed or fish, too clean, and the water was the wrong color, a tropical blue-green clear out to the horizon: this wasn't Atlantis.
( Read the story )
The many details (the cat, the proof, the way they made up rules for living) made this feel completely possible. I like the ending, too. *sigh*
Thank you!
That was just lovely.
<3
I found the setting and descriptions very tranquil and peaceful - the thought of John and Rodney together in an idyllic beach setting, spending their days together was fantastic. I love the beach and so I could picture everything you wrote vividly.
I liked the way you wrote the development of their relationship and the final awakening - it was very poignant and brought tears to my eyes! Oh and the humour - Rodney whining about jellyfish and lice-infested sand was funny!:D
The title is very appropriate and this was a good story.
I will definitely keep looking out for your stories.
Thanks,
Alex
"Yes," Rodney said, soft soft soft, and John fumbled a hand out and touched him, and Rodney's face was wet. "Yes, it's brilliant, it's real—" and John was breathing hard, harsh low sobbing breaths that couldn't make it all the way into crying; because what did it fucking matter, what use was any of it, and then Rodney was kissing him, stroking him, pulling his head in close, and John clutched at him desperately, skin-hungry, and didn't stop, didn't even think about stopping.
right here? Killed me in the best possible way. And let's not forget the ending, just the right amount of awww and cute, and yet always perfectly them. Wonderful, absolutely wonderful.
What really got me was the nature of time and meaning -- how being trapped in the VR was a torture before John and Rodney joined forces to blow things up and solve problems, and how even after, they would ration touches and activities to stretch things out to last for eternity if need be. Then they rejoin reality and Rodney makes the sudden realization that they only have 40 more years to have sex, and jumps John (delightedly) right then and there. I loved how your writing was so distinct in distinguishing the mood of both realities, virtual and mundane. The words perfectly evoked the sensations.
My favoritest part is John and Rodney clinging to each other once awakened -- not letting go, limpet clinging to limpet. Lovely pushing of my emotional buttons. Like they've forgotten how to make sense of things without each other. So nice.
Thank you for this.
This is so great. The way the VE went from paradise to hell and back to paradise was kind of creepy and very very fascinating.
I love your math-geek John, and that Rodney basically made him write a dissertation and defend it. I can't even imagine a kind of math so complicated that it's actually made easier by folding it into little origami figures. Did you just totally make that up, or is there really some branch of maths that involves calculating in 3D?
Piano lessons - aww. I have such a weak spot for fics where Rodney gets to play the piano, but him teaching it to John was even better.
It was cool that everyone just accepted that they'd be extremely close after spending a year together on a deserted island. I can't really see the Atlantis guys as a bunch of homophobes, anyway - except maybe Caldwell, but I liked him here. "Flying under the radar" made me grin.
The sex scenes where great - at first the perfect sex in the VE, too urgent to even wait for lube, and then of course it would be terrible at first in real life, where things can actually hurt.
And John writing War and Peace femslash! He so totally would.
I may have to blackmail/bribe my boyfriend into trying that ten-steps game of tag with me - it actually sounds like a lot of fun. Although it's going to be a lot less creepy without a VE in infinite loop. *g*
The ending left me all warm and glowy. Being able to have their paradise beach, but also the whole world, too. And a cat, of course. I can imagine that leaving Fermi behind must have been as if he had died, even though he wasn't ever really alive.
Thank you so much for writing this despite all your other work!
Feynman diagrams are real, but yeah, the origami is totally made up out of my head. *g*