So guys, here's all I've got to say at this point.
I'm here in fandom for the joy of making things and sharing them with you all, and for the joy of what you all share with me, and I am willing to do work for the community because of that joy. I do as much as I can within the other constraints on my time, I try to have fun at it and make my work serve fun ends, and I try to have a generous mindset towards other people and take critique positively rather than defensively.
I had the idea for the Automated Archive software, and I worked to make it happen. I had the idea for Vividcon and I worked to make it happen. I had the idea for Yuletide and I worked to make it happen. I had the idea for the OTW and for the Archive Of Our Own, and I worked to make them happen.
I did absolutely none of these things alone. I have worked with many amazing people on these projects -- with more or less effectiveness, with more or less happiness, but successfully.
None of these things are or were perfect. All of them could be improved and run better in many ways. But I think they're all good, and that they serve our community.
I have made plenty of mistakes and failed to get a lot of important things done, some because I made a bad call, some because I was busy getting other things done, some because I forgot, and some because I just hit the limits on my capacity for work. I've sometimes also made decisions that other people didn't like, both of us for good reasons. None of them were because I don't care or value others.
I have strong opinions of my own and I advocate for them passionately. I have no apologies for that. But I have always done my best, when someone comes to me with a problem, or with an issue or an idea, to listen and respond productively.
I handed on Vividcon, I've been working on challenge code for three years now so I can hand on Yuletide, I handed on chairing ADT, I handed on the Board, the code I've written is open source, and I am the one who pushed hard for elections in our original design. I believe in letting new people with fresh energy and ideas take a crack at things I've built, so those things can continue, while I move on to new things with fresh energy myself.
That's my track record.
When I started this four and a half years ago, it was with many goals and hopes, but at the core of them was a call to build the OTW and the Archive, not so much as a super-fun fanfic site with all the bells and whistles -- though I would like it to be! -- but as a sustainable and protected place to preserve our work. I've asked a lot of you to contribute your time and energy and money to that effort, and so I feel that when I took this on, I made a commitment to get that done.
I'm running again now because I have real concerns about the current climate on the Board, and as a result whether that's still on track to happen. I do very much hope that I am wrong to be concerned.
The level of vitriol in this election has been really awful and destructive, and for my own part, I can't engage in that. I don't believe that the people campaigning against me are bad or want to tear the org down. Many of them have done a lot of solid work for the org and care about it deeply.
I do think that those of them who've been on the Board have not been able to get whatever it is they wanted done and have created more problems than they've solved not just for the coding team, but for themselves and the people they are trying to help. And I don't believe that's because I've been around in the background as an AD&T staffer or because Francesca's still on the Board.
For my part, I am not trying to get back on the Board in order just to help the coding team; I do want to do that, but I don't believe I *can* help the coding team unless we also address the issues that are upsetting people in other roles.
There's a lot of misinformation and actively hostile interpretations of my actions and words and mistakes being posted around. It upsets me, but I can't spend my time and energy chasing it down and having unproductive arguments in journal comments. If that means that you take some of that misinformation as true, that's the price we both pay, and I'm sorry.
But at this point, I have to let my work speak for me, and I hope it does.
PS: the election starts tomorrow, and ends Friday (at noon UTC
). Voting will be via electronic ballot
(only OTW members can vote).
(I'm leaving comments open but hope you'll forgive me, I'm probably not going to be up to responding right now.)You can also read this entry on Dreamwidth ( comments)